Should I Tell Her How I Feel?
Geplaatst op 07-01-2025
Categorie: Lifestyle
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Picture this: you’re going about your business one day when a stranger approaches you. He seems nice enough, average-looking at best, and smiles.
“I’m sorry to bother you,” he says, “but I just need to tell you how wonderful I think you are. You’re absolutely stunning and I love your style. Seriously, every day I see you, you look gorgeous. I’ve thought about it over and over again, what it would be like to be with you, what it would be like to have you smile at me with that beautiful smile. I just…want you to go to dinner with me. Well, not just that, I want to wake up next to you tomorrow morning, I want to shower you with gifts and ravage your body all night long. You just need to give me a chance to be the man you need in your life…and I can do it. Just give me a chance, won’t you?”
You’re taken completely aback. Who the hell is this guy? Has he been stalking you? The things he says are something you’d expect a long-standing lover to say, but you’ve never met him before.
You may be thinking that this guy is crazy, and you’re absolutely right. However, tons of guys make the exact same mistake each and every day. But Zack, you say, I know the girl I’m planning on saying this to. Let me fill you in on something: no you don’t. The very fact that you’re contemplating this line of approach is because you don’t know the girl, you’re not with her in the way you want, and you want to change that. You have this aching inside of you that’s screaming to be with her and you feel like the only way to quiet it is to let her know how you feel. And here’s my advice: don’t do it.
Whether it’s someone you just met or a girl you’ve been out with a handful of times, this type of revelation is destined to backfire. The intensity of your feelings are most likely not matched by hers. Read that again: your intense feelings are not mirrored right now. At some point in the future, they may be, but not right now. And letting her in on just how deeply you feel too early is sure to send her running. You run the risk of many scenarios unfolding: she may get scared of your intensity, she may feel bad that she doesn’t feel the same way. In any event, you’ll end up exactly where you don’t want to be. Without her.
I know it’s gut-wrenching to do, but keep your intense feelings under wraps. You can reveal them five-six months down the line, but for now, the best thing you can do is show her how you feel. This doesn’t mean to buy her a ton of stuff; it means being thoughtful about your interactions. If you know she enjoys an activity, arrange to do it. Be attentive but not overbearing and whenever you get anxious, remind yourself that patience brings more passion than recklessness.
Down the road, once you’ve been together for a while, you can reveal your feelings. You can even tell her that you’ve felt this way since you first met. With months of companionship behind you, she’ll find that endearing and inspiring (as opposed to scary and suffocating if you’ve only just met). Take your time, do it right, and enjoy the rewards.